Elden Ring is a popular action RPG from FromSoftwares which has sold over 10 million copies since its release in 2022. It has gained a cult classic status in the gaming community and is considered one of the best Souls-type games to have ever been made – the gloomy medieval world, the grotesque magical creatures and the painfully challenging gameplay of Elden Ring has etched its name permanently in the hearts of countless gamers. We have curated a list of hilarious features that Elden Ring 2 developers can add to the game to make it an even bigger success than it might already become.
Hysterical Features that will make Elden Ring 2 an even bigger success
1. A Frustration Meter that works dynamically
If you’re an Elden Ring player, then you know and we know how much a gamer wants to punch the screen after seeing the “You Died” message countless times – the pent-up humiliation of not being able to outsmart a computer-generated evil boss builds up a significant amount of frustration while playing Elden Ring. To tackle this, Elden Ring 2 developers must add a live frustration meter – if the frustration levels peak then the game screen should display your list of achievements, all the phone numbers you pulled or describe the best rizz & comeback moments of your life until the frustration meter goes to zero.
The frustration meter will give you an ego massage until you’re ready again to die countless brutal deaths by overpowered monstrosities in the game – it’s like listening to your favorite music in morning traffic while going to a job that you know is going to suck the life out of you in 8 hours, you look forward to these traffic music sessions each morning you wake up.
2. A Motivational video must play before you press Quit
Trying to beat an Elden Ring boss can even make the most ruthless of Vikings cry like a 5-year-old who has just lost his first tooth – Elden Ring is so tough to beat that you end up losing all your motivation to excel at anything in life. The constant humiliation by Elden RIng bosses can make anyone lose their self-belief and force them to rage quit – a motivational video feature must be incorporated in Elden Ring 2 because only Rocky Balboa can motivate you to keep taking the thrashings in the game and get up again & again.
A Rags to Riches story or a breakout story of the once-poor billionaire must be narrated with beautiful animations, to help you get your mojo back. After hitting the quit button in Elden Ring 2, there should be 2 options – Yes and “Warrior Mentality”, and motivational videos must play after clicking on the latter.
3. A Mercy feature that records the gamer’s begging & crying
The fact that players rage & cry in self-pity after getting stuck at Elden Ring is not even news anymore – thousands of streamers and youtubers have cried rivers after hours’ worth of efforts to see “Enemy Felled” message on their gaming screens, which means you have defeated the boss. There should be a Mercy feature in Elden Ring 2 that analyzes the pain in the gamer’s screams filled with self-loathing and an almost zero sense of self-belief – after the mercy feature gets activated, the enemy AI will produce more chances for the gamers to strike fractionally lethal blows on the enemy and the bigger enemies will reduce in size as well after mercy mode gets activated.
4. A 4-year college degree should arrive in the mail within a week after the game’s completion
A digital contract must be signed before purchasing Elden Ring 2 that will ensure you get a 4-year graduation degree in the subject of gaming – this completion certificate will be sent to you within a week of you beating Elden Ring 2. This degree will get you jobs in the gaming sector, other gamers will bow down in your respect and game developers will release their next title only after you approve of it – it’s like the Olympic gold level of glory in the gaming world terms.
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