This is going to be a date between Lady Dimitrescu & James. So, let’s get to know James a little bit. James is a socially awkward 17-year-old boy who hasn’t spoken to a breathing female who isn’t related to him, there has been no social contact or physical contact with a girl in his lifetime.
He can’t even conjure normal breathing patterns whenever he is in the vicinity of a girl that he finds attractive. Whenever he is with his guy friends, he becomes a standup comedian but with girls, the oratory function chip in his brain fries off – it’s almost hilarious.
James is aware of his anxious struggles with the opposite gender. The only silver lining with James is that he has hopes of getting into a relationship someday. He thinks a lot about the smile he got from a Walmart cashier a week ago, she was replaced when he went back to see her breathtakingly gorgeous smile. Ahh, the one & the only one that got away.
Let’s jump back to the present day. It’s 10 am and James is heading back to his home, he takes a sharp left turn after seeing 2 of his female classmates heading his way. He takes the longer route and sees his favorite diner, goes inside and orders his regular meal.
The Date with Lady Dimitrescu Begins
James is waiting for his regular order of pancakes, maple syrup, omelet and 3 pieces of bacon. The order arrives after 5 minutes of waiting – James pours the maple syrup on the pancakes & sprinkles some salt on it. There’s a proud smile on his face as if he just invented a new sweet & savory masterpiece of a recipe.
Just when James is about to take a bite, he hears ” Excuse me, is that seat taken ” in the most beautiful and confident estrogen-fueled voice that he had ever heard. He takes a look and it’s a beautiful girl who is too pretty for his self-esteem.
James is gawking at the lady’s face like a fool. He is unable to formulate a thought.
Lady D: Hello, are you okay mister? I asked you a question.
James: mumbling, buh buh buh buh Wuh Wu What( gains backs his voice). What did you ask me? Oh yeah yeah, yes you should sit here, I mean you can, you may if you want to.
Lady D: Thank You, everywhere else was occupied.
James nervously grins & nods in agreement. He is way too stunned by her feminine beauty and voluptuous figure. The girl’s costume is quite bold, making this the toughest eye contact game that James has ever participated in his life.
James: Hmm, yes there are no other seats available( his voice cracks, clears his throat and suddenly his masculine instincts start kicking). Why did you sit here, I mean you could have waited. Look there, a table just cleared up.
Lady D: Do you have a girlfriend, Mister?
James: I am James( he spoke with a subdued confidence and a slight grin). My name is James Sullivan and I don’t have a girlfriend.
James spoke with a devilish grin on his face and his face turned red. Suddenly, an extremely weird thing happened to James – the woman smiled back at him.
Lady D: I thought so, you were completely flustered when you saw me. It felt like you just saw a unicorn( They both grinned simultaneously).
James had never felt more testosterone coursing through his veins. His ears turned red, heart was beating fast. He gathered his mojo back for the first time and spoke.
James: It’s quite rude of me to have not asked your name yet Miss( his eyebrows were lifted and eyes were pinched like the hot guy smolder look from a romantic movie – even he felt like a protagonist while saying it).
She brushed her left collarbone gently with her fingers and spoke in the most seductive voice possible.
Lady D: My name is Alcina Dimitrescu, James and I sat here because I found you interesting and quite attractive( She pulled out a red bottle and started pouring into the glass in front of her).
James: Why are you carrying your bottle and why is this wine so dense?
She gulped down the entire glass in one breath.
Lady D: Ahh, delicious( gives a bright smile with the most devilishly red painted teeth ever). Because it is blood that I am drinking.
Alcina looks at him with the widest and creepiest smile James has ever seen. For the first time, James focused completely on her face without trying to sneak a peek at her beautiful dress( If you know, you know what I mean).
James: Ha Ha, good joke( She smiled back). Why haven’t you ordered anything? Aren’t you hungry.
Lady D: Of course, I am hungry. I came here to pick up my order. My order is sitting right in front of me.
James: Here, you can have my food. That’s why you sat here, you just wanted a free meal( He moves the food plate slowly towards her).
A slashing sound ends with a banging sound on the table. Alcina just cut James’s hand with her massive claws that emerged from her nails. She eats the amputated hand and smashes the food plate on the wall with a strong hand sweep movement at the table.
James is screaming, blood is squirting out of his hand like water coming out from mini fountains( just like Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill).
Lady Dimitrescu transforms into a greyish hideous & deformed dragon with her head still plunging out of its body. She grabs James, breaks the entire window section of the diner and flies off to the sky.
Huh Huh Huh( James wakes up drenched in sweat and takes big gulps of air). He finds all of his body parts intact, only to realize it is a nightmare.
The date never actually happened. James slept late yesterday as he was failing again and again in Resident Evil Village’s Lady Dimitrescu mission. It was the weirdest hot dream ever in the history of dreams.
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