Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 released on 21 May 2024 and since then gamers have been divided into sections of worshipping fans & passionate haters. The worshippers are praising Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 for it’s unbelievably real looking graphics and the haters are mad due to a lack of substance. Here’s our brutally honest review of Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2.
5 Major Pointers in Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 Review
Near Perfect Graphical Realism but …
It is no secret that HellBlade 2 comes with near-realistic graphics – you can see any gameplay on YouTube and you will be pleasantly stunned or find yourself mouthing bad words directed at your graphics card after reading the minimum graphical requirements for it. The graphical fidelity in Hellblade 2 is a milestone in terms of the visual marvel it delivers – it’s like a long lost & equally handsome brother of Alan Wake 2. Unlike Alan Wake 2, there’s nothing that makes you wanna stay apart from the looks – HellBlade 2 is boring, does not have cool stories to share, has zero confidence and has not seen the world as much as his elder brother i.e. Alan Wake 2.
It’s a sight for the sore eyes but a migraine for the brain, an insult to your intelligence, a waste of your time and a hole in your wallet – if you believe in one-night stands with an attractive person, then purchase this game but if you believe in finding a soulmate whose outer beauty & inner beauty is congruent, then save your money and avoid HellBlade 2.
Childish Combat Sequences that will make you cringe
There’s no thrill in the combat sequences – there’s not a single moment that makes you feel that you’re hanging on the edge of a mountain and struggling to survive. The villains are laughable and look like drug addicts who are enraged and ugly – you are neither going to fear these villains nor going to respect them for their lack of animalistic rage, charismatic dialogue delivery and menacing body language. The combat mechanics are extremely childish – watching paint dry on the walls, is a more exhilarating experience than combatting bosses in HellBlade 2.
You’re going to respect your father after playing this game as he built a tolerance in you while scolding you – bring your father and let him scold at HellBlade 2, maybe it will improve like you did. You will have a newfound love for your goofy younger pictures because they can’t be as cringe as HellBlade 2’s action setpieces – thank you HellBlade 2 for removing the cringy flashbacks of the past from all our brains.
It’s an Unbearable amount of Spoonfeeding in terms of narrative
HellBlade 2’s protagonist Senua has a condition called Psychosis in which there are voices in her head that talk to her – that’s respectable but it keeps on going to the point of making your ears bleed with an overload of hearing sensations. The gameplay feels like an episode of National Geographic with intriguing nerd facts being narrated in the background & beautiful oceans, creatures or wildlife being displayed in the foreground at high resolutions – there’s a lot of spoonfeeding in the narrative, and you begin to lose interest and curiosity.
Playing HellBlade 2 is like being on a date with a chatty Cathy – you are looking at her because she’s pretty but she doesn’t know when to stop talking, she doesn’t know how to appear mysterious or flirt and she bores you with her life stories and your night ends with you gossiping about her to your friends. HellBlade 2 should be made the new official term for “Dumb and Hot”. HellBlade 2 doesn’t leave any scope for you to explore or even think.
It’s like the Super Smart or Handsome kid in school who nobody can relate with
HellBlade 2 is like the exceptional kid at school who’s either angelic-looking or unbelievably smart – you just can’t hang out with him without having self-esteem issues or feeling inferior all the time, it’s tough for you to relate to this kid due to the exceptional abilities he/she is born with. The textures, physical elements, and reflections look incredibly close to real life – you will get lost in the wondrous visual world of HellBlade 2 and find yourself getting distracted constantly by its striking beauty. HellBlade 2 looks like an IMAX movie being played on your computer – just like an IMAX experience, you sort of dissociate from reality as everything appears so larger than life & pleasantly unrealistic.
A gameplay that makes you wanna swing a hammer at your gaming monitor
There’s so much walking in the game that it feels like a jogging session in the woods – you would always find Senua staring at gorgeous sceneries and then some boring narration starts, or she meets a character that only speaks boring ancient wisdom in a baritone voice. The exploration of landscapes, the angelic background music, the fight sequences, Senua’s never-ending inner monologue and the wannabe epic portrayal of this game – everything in the gameplay feels repetitive to the point of annoyance. Imagine you’re a therapist who listens to his/her clients having the same problems every day and pretends to care – playing HellBlade 2 feels exactly like that.
HellBlade 2’s gameplay is lackluster despite all the visual splendor – you should start saving money for anger management classes cause you’re going to need those classes after you’re done playing HellBlade 2, the sheer disappointment is going to make you rage like a bull who just saw red.
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